Its been a while but I feel like I cannot let this year end without clarifying a few things up. A lot has happened since I last blogged with you all. I think I ended last time around May so its been a good 7 months. My life has been super busy. Over the summer I got blessed with a new job around the middle of July and I am happy to say that I have been there for 5 months now? So that is exciting. It is definitely different being in a work environment that is basically a mans world (car dealership). But our little office of 4 women is holding strong and holding our own. I can say that I love my job in all of its stressful and chaotic moments sometimes. After holding down this job I also embarked on working on top of it. Something I've never really had to schedule before. I wont say that the last semester was easy because it was far from it. A lot happened this semester. Some good and some tough but I made it through. I ended the semester with some pretty good grades and a clearer path on where I'm headed. I changed my degree plan (AGAIN and for the final time) and finally got a graduation date. So that's all the updates of what has gone on for the last 7 months!
So now I can get onto the real purpose of this post. I'm not a feminist and I'm not trying to bash men. But I'm not a real fan of ignorance. There was a conversation that I was made aware of today that just hasn't set well with my soul and it is something that I need to make clear to everyone. This conversation that took place went something along the lines of how provocative people dress today and yes it was by a gender the complete opposite of mine. ok fine, it was a man, or a very ignorant grown up I guess. So what exactly was the comment that kind of makes my blood boil? This comment said something along the lines of "the way some girls dress provocatively today is just asking to be raped". Now thank the Lord that I wasn't in the direct conversation that was had when this comment was made because I don't know that I would be able to professionally filter my thoughts on the matter. Not in the sense of vulgarity but in the sense more of being passionate as an advocate against such ignorance. So my take on that comment is as follows:
First of all, let me make something very clear: NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING makes rape ok. I don't care if someone is dressed provocatively, or prancing around the streets naked, it definitely does not mean that anyone is asking to be raped. Boys, girls, men ,women NO ONE deserves that. No amount of clothing or lack thereof justifies such a horrendous act. As someone who has been on the other side I can assure you that no one would ever ask for that. Rape is a huge violation and such ignorance from people sometimes cuts just as deep as the initial violation.
What people fail to understand sometimes is that this isn't something that just happens to you physically. It takes a toll on your emotions, it makes you question you spirituality. It affects every ounce of your being. Now that being said, that doesn't mean that you cant heal from it but it takes a village. For something that is so taboo to talk about or to even report in the first place, finding that village can sometimes be a challenge. So when you have people on the outside who blatantly judge people they don't even know to begin with it is hard.
I did not write this to gain sympathy. I did not write this to bash anybody. I hope that in writing this that somehow, some way maybe we can stop this stigma that clothing substitutes consent. Stop the stigma that a girl in skin tight clothing, or a slightly exposed boobs means that she wants you to bring physical turmoil and complete destruction to her soul. (sounds dramatic but that's what it feels like).
So the next time that someone says that she somehow asked for it because of her clothing, help be her voice and explain that this is simply not how it works.
That's all for now. I'm going to try and be more proactive on keeping this going as I have many thoughts floating in my head :) love to you all!
